We’ll give it to you straight, we would love to be best friends with Chelsea Handler. She’s hilarious, she’s not shy, and we just know that she would always have our backs. At least that’s how we think this hypothetical friendship would go. Whether you’re really going through it right now or you could just go for a chuckle, here are some of our favorite Chelsea Handler quotes that have gotten us through. Just pretend she’s saying these things to you specifically.
“Just be honest with who you are and if you don’t and end with any friends, good for you.”
This is just a hilarious way of saying that the right people will love you for being you. Cheesy? Yes. True? Also yes.
“You should always speak your mind and be bold and obnoxious and do whatever you want and don’t let anybody tell you to stop it.”
She doesn’t just say it, she does it. So at the end of the day, just be like Cheslea Handler.
“I dislike so many things….and people.”
Celebrities: they’re just like us.
“There are two kinds of people I don’t trust: people who don’t drink and people who collect stickers.”
We just know there has to be an incredible backstory to this.
“When I ever am around kids, it’s always a reminder not to have them.”
Something Chelsea has often spoken out about is her decision to not have children. Not only do we fully support this, but we love to hear celebrities speaking out about this because some of us just don’t want tiny humans, and that’s okay despite what society tries to tell us.
“There’s a difference between being a class act and being classy. Peeing off the side of a jeep doesn’t mean you’re not classy, it just means you’re a free spirit with a small bladder.”
And once again, she has a point. Though she arrived at the point in a very interesting manner.
“Obviously, if I was serious about having a relationship with someone long-term, the last people I would introduce him to would be my family.”
Put a finger down if you’ve been there because we most certainly have.
“Vomit and feces are two reasons I have decided not to procreate.”
And those are two perfectly good reasons because ick.
“The Backstreet Boys are releasing a new album, and all their fans ovaries are releasing their last eggs.”
Well, okay, she didn’t have to come at us like that. But what else do we expect from our bestie, after all?