There’s no denying that our minds can go to pretty dark places and create the most bizarre insults when we feel genuinely peeved. And, since we often engage in agitating discussions with strangers on the Internet, thinking of good comebacks is critical. Not only will they make the difference between losing a fight and winning it, but they’ll also make you look intelligent and remind your online enemies that they should think twice before messing with you. On this occasion, we’ve compiled the most savage yet hilarious insults we could find on the Internet. After reading them, you’ll see that these expressions are so crushing that there’s no possible recovery from them—and that accepting defeat is the only way to leave with a little bit of dignity.
Being told that you’re a trophy that no one would want must hurt
For some people, one of the best compliments they can receive is being compared to a valuable object. You could tell them they’re as precious as a trophy, and they’d beam at you with a smile you’d never forget.
However, being compared to a trophy doesn’t always mean something nice. For instance, the woman in this picture told someone that she would rather walk in the opposite direction if they were the prize at the end of a race. Ouch.
This person literally roasted themselves in a Facebook comment
Sometimes, we make silly, self-deprecating jokes to entertain our friends and forget about those negative aspects of ourselves that bother us. Having a good laugh at things such as not getting laid makes it easier to cope with them healthily.
Still, we believe that this person took self-deprecating jokes a bit too far. We must admit that we giggled when we read this Facebook comment, but we feel sorry for them. They roasted themselves in front of the whole Internet.
Zuckerberg’s wax model looks more like an actual human being than he does
The Internet loves to find new ways to laugh at Facebook’s CEO, Mark Zuckerberg. So, when Zuckerberg’s waxwork was unveiled at Madame Tussauds in San Francisco in 2014, people started making memes making fun of him and comparing him to the sculpture.
On Twitter, people have been commenting on the realism of Zuckerberg’s waxwork. Some even say that it arguably looks much more human than the Facebook founder. We don’t want to be mean, but the truth is that the sculpture seems more charming than Zuckerberg himself.
Mariah Carey’s song may contain a hidden insult
No Christmas celebration is complete without Mariah Carey’s “All I Want for Christmas Is You.” This song has been a holiday season hit for years, and we already know its lyrics by heart. Nonetheless, this doesn’t mean that we know it like the back of our hands.
Twitter user @iamchrisscott realized that the song may contain a hidden insult. If you say that you don’t want much for Christmas and then say that what you want is a specific person, you may be hinting that they’re no big deal.
Someone mocked this model’s outfit on Twitter
We’ve always been told we shouldn’t laugh at other people’s outfits. Everyone has the right to choose what to wear and not be judged for it. Still, some individuals’ fashion choices are so ridiculous that we can’t control ourselves.
Twitter user @klara_sjo saw a model wearing a colorful outfit that reminded them of Scooby-Doo, and she couldn’t help but say that the woman in the photo looked like she was cosplaying all characters from the show at once. She wasn't lying, though.
Some burns are impossible to forget
As a teenager, you often fall in love with someone who goes to the same school as you. And, if you’re lucky enough, you may get to go out with them. Unfortunately, not everything is peaches and cream when you have a crush.
Twitter user @BoyYeetsWorld’s story is the perfect proof of that. After dating a young lady for four days, she broke up with him and posted a passive-aggressive message for him on Facebook. He still feels hurt whenever he remembers being called “a loser in thin foil.”
This Reddit user couldn’t help but compare these women’s faces to a child’s drawing
If you think about it, there are many reasons why we shouldn’t laugh at people’s appearances. This behavior is considered rude in almost any social situation, mainly because we can make the person we’re making fun of feel bad about themselves.
Still, not everyone knows the consequences of joking about how someone looks. This Reddit user didn’t care about social conventions and compared these women’s faces to a drawing from their childhood. We get it, her face is funny, but the comment was just too mean.
Older people shouldn’t be allowed to create Twitter accounts
Freedom of speech is a right for everyone. No one should be stopped from sharing their thoughts with the world. However, we can’t help but feel entitled to get mad at someone for expressing an opinion that doesn’t make much sense.
While we don’t believe that Twitter user @welplookathim should’ve treated an older woman that way, we think that his anger is valid. There’s a high chance that the lady doesn’t know how hard it is for young adults to go to university because she belongs to a different generation.
The young woman in the picture got compared to a character from “He-Man and the Masters of the Universe”
More often than not, people post photos on social media and expect their followers to react in a particular way. Nonetheless, that rarely happens, and you usually end up with savage yet hilarious replies like the one in this picture.
Twitter user @GrumpySkeletor saw this young woman’s tweet and couldn’t help but compare her to Mekaneck, a character with a long neck from He-Man and the Masters of the Universe. To be honest, we can see the resemblance between them.
Baby Boomers don’t take the blame for our flawed society
We don’t want to judge people from other generations. Still, Baby Boomers are well-known for not being able to acknowledge their mistakes. Young people on social media often blame them for our flawed society, and this tweet is proof of it.
Whether we agree or not with @ItsDanSheehan isn’t up to discussion. What we want to point out here is how bizarre it sounds to establish an analogy between the mistakes that Baby Boomers made and forgetting to replace the toilet paper roll when it’s your turn.
Some songs are so awful that they make you wake up earlier if you set them as alarms
Although most people believe that setting a song as an alarm is a good idea, the truth is that doing so may ruin the tune for you. It’s been proven that you’ll probably start resenting that song after a while.
And, if you choose to set an awful song as an alarm, you may even begin to wake up earlier just to avoid listening to it, like Internet user Amrish Vadali. In our opinion, this second option is perfect for forcing yourself to get out of bed in the morning.
There’s no denying that the Mexican lady gave the American one the perfect comeback
Racism can take many forms. Sometimes, people discriminate against immigrants because they don’t speak the same language. Since that doesn’t make much sense to us, we can’t agree with what Twitter user @Jeyizzle told us that the old American lady said.
We can understand why the Mexican woman replied the way she did. Her comeback was so epic that the other person probably felt personally attacked by it. We don’t want to be mean, but she had it coming, don’t you think?
Get rid of hickeys by painting your face like a clown
Hickeys are a contentious matter. They’re a way to tell the world what you did last night, which can get you into trouble. Most people will be too polite to comment on the bruise on your neck, but this doesn’t mean that they won’t notice them.
Disguising a bunch of hickeys can be difficult, especially if the person you have to hide them from is your husband. Fortunately, an Internet user found the right way to cover those bruises before your partner sees them: by painting your face like a clown.
Sarcasm is the best way to roast someone
Contrary to what many people think, sarcasm isn’t mean; it’s a brilliant and skillful type of humor. Despite the fact that not everyone can understand it, sarcasm deserves appreciation when used at the right time and place. Take @ZachSvobodny’s tweet, for example.
Since Twitter user @livingforjc was being a killjoy, this man had to help her realize it. So, he sarcastically told her that he was making an article on Buzzfeed about people who would be an absolute blast to bring to parties.
This Jesus lookalike got the funniest comment on his picture
Somewhere in the world, there’s at least one person with the same face as you. While that fact may sound shocking enough, you’d be surprised to know that this unrelated lookalike may have more in common with you than his appearance.
Perhaps that’s why this Jesus doppelgänger was told that he could turn water into something more fun when he uploaded a selfie on social media. Even though the comment is a bit judgemental, we can’t deny that it is hilarious.
A random person on Twitter made people from Wyoming get mad at them
For some reason, many people find making fun of others an entertaining hobby. In this case, it seems that Twitter user @kbnoswag took things too far when they decided to diss the state of Wyoming and laugh at the citizens insulting them.
Instead of apologizing, this person continued to joke about Wyomingites’ rural lifestyle. We know that there are plenty of wide open spaces in this state and that many people earn a living from farming. Still, this doesn’t mean that they don’t have cars or stable Internet connections at home.
No one wants to see the first photo that this Twitter user took with his Samsung Galaxy S8
Being a social media manager isn’t as easy as it seems. You’re responsible for planning, developing, implementing, and managing strategies for a business’s social media accounts, and your competence determines how effectively it’ll be able to portray its brand value online.
Most of the time, social media managers post questions to interact with people and make a company look more friendly, just like the person behind @SamsungMobileUS did. Nonetheless, we believe that they regret their tweet, given the unexpected reply it aroused.
The first savage insult in history was uttered by Alexander Hamilton
Has it ever happened to you that you get so mad at someone that all you want is to hit them in the face with a chair? We know that this question may seem awfully specific to you, but that’s exactly what Alexander Hamilton felt towards Thomas Jefferson.
In fact, Hamilton was so furious that he couldn’t find words in the English language to express his anger and told Jefferson the phrase you see in the picture. As far as we’re concerned, this quote may be the first savage insult recorded in history.
Don’t mess with young people if you don’t want to receive crushing comebacks
Baby Boomers never miss the chance to criticize younger generations. They say that teenagers and young adults are lazy and have no work ethic. Of course, these comments are enough to get the worst out of this part of the population.
Take a look at this screenshot, for instance. A Facebook user named Debra disregarded a teen athlete for oversleeping, and another person replied to their comment, telling them that they shouldn’t say anything because neither they nor their cat have won gold medals.
This Twitter user genuinely hates “Friends”
There’s no doubt that Friends is the most popular TV show of all time. Although it ended nearly 20 years ago, the hilarious antics of Ross, Joey, Monica, Phoebe, Chandler, and Rachel still make everyone laugh; or so we thought before seeing this tweet.
Apparently, some people out there don’t find Friends funny at all. Twitter user @stephenszczerba is so convinced that the show is boring that he daydreams of finding a way to delete the laugh tracks just to show the world that he’s right.
Never make fun of the way a woman handles a controller
Some men enjoy making fun of women who like video games. For example, the guy who took this picture said that he was happy that his wife wanted to play a game. Still, he felt horrified when he saw how she handled the controller.
Since the situation wasn’t funny, someone decided to comment on the photo and make the poster feel ashamed of himself for trying to humiliate his spouse. Although the joke was a bit cruel, we must acknowledge that it was pretty clever.
Pranks like this can make you stop buying things online
Nowadays, many people prefer to use online stores to purchase all kinds of new things. The truth is that these platforms allow you to get the best offers in the market and even talk to sellers to negotiate an item’s price.
However, you should never be a smarty-pants and ask for a massive discount. If the seller tells you that they won’t lower the price anymore, don’t try to outsmart them. Or else, you may be pranked on, just like the buyer from this amusing Facebook conversation.
Serial killers shouldn’t have cool nicknames
Over the years, we’ve noticed that serial killers are always given cool nicknames. We know that they’re supposed to help people identify them in the news and be careful with them, but why can’t those criminals have less glamorous bynames?
That’s what Twitter user @PostCultRev argues in this post. We agree with them that it’d be great if the media gave serial killers insulting nicknames. That way, they may think twice before engaging in illicit affairs and ruining their serious reputations forever.
Pharrell’s $17 million mansion compared to a community college
When it comes to Beverly Hills mansions, our minds are filled with images of luxurious penthouses, lavish lawns, grandiose infinity pools, and private movie theaters. Communal centers in the suburbs? Not even on the radar. Yet, here's Pharrell's $17 million residence - defying expectations.
A keen observer spotted its uncanny resemblance to a suburban community college. Not quite the stylish charm we associate with the coolest guy in the industry! This mansion offers a unique lesson in architectural aesthetics—one we might consider skipping.
The man on the right looks like he’s wearing someone else’s face
Deciding to get a new haircut can be a difficult decision. First, you must consider several factors, such as face shape, hair texture, and growth patterns. After that, you have to find a way to match that look with a neat beard style.
As you can see, a trip to the barbershop can be transformative. Unfortunately, this doesn’t necessarily mean a good thing. We can’t tell what the person on the right asked his barber for, but it looks weird. It’s almost as though he was wearing someone else’s face.
Some people hate Applebee’s
One of the most popular places in the United States to pop into for a tasty casual meal happens to be Applebee’s. Much like any other hot spot for lunch or dinner, Applebee’s has as many fans as haters around the globe.
Judging by this tweet, Twitter user @CORINSANITY belongs to the group of people who can’t stand going to Applebee’s. Nothing can change her mind regarding the food served at the famous chain restaurant, not even getting roofied before eating it.
Someone compared this man to a university brochure model
Sometimes, you upload a picture on social media and know that someone will make fun of you. That seems to be the case with Twitter user @Richie_l0c0, who was ready to get roasted when he decided to post a photo of himself after shaving.
The best comment on this man’s tweet was the one in this screenshot. Another Twitter user compared him to those men who appear in university brochures. Honestly, we would’ve never noticed it if it weren’t because this person pointed it out.
Miles don’t make sense as a measuring unit
Remembering how many feet are in a mile can be confusing for anyone. Even Americans have a hard time doing it. So, they use reminders such as the phrase “five tomatoes” to recall that there are 5,280 feet in a mile.
We don’t know what the British Commonwealth and the United States were thinking when they decided to standardize the mile as the customary unit of distance. In our opinion, they should’ve chosen the kilometer, like the rest of the world.
Tom Holland looks like Eminem’s younger brother
When Tom Holland shaved his head, the Internet couldn’t help but turn his appearance into a meme. Some Twitter users even went as far as comparing him to Eminem, saying that he looked as though he was his younger brother, called “Skittles.”
The joke is pretty straightforward, but let us explain it to you. Since Eminem sounds like the candy brand M&M’s, someone thought that it’d be funny to say that Tom Holland is like Skittles, which was founded a few decades later.
Men who hate women on Twitter are incomprehensible
Sadly, you can find dozens of men insulting women on social media for no apparent reason. However, Twitter user @Ahhmandah believes that Twitter is full of guys who hate on ladies and denigrate them but still want to go out with them.
To be honest, we understand why this lady gets so angry at those misogynist men that post silly things on Twitter. It’s hypocritical to pretend that you love your mother, sister, or wife and continue to speak ill of women on social media.
Pokémon gym leaders would look like these people if they were real
If you’ve ever played Pokémon as a child or watched the TV show, you’ll probably remember what gym leaders looked like. These characters’ colorful appearances were often inspired by their favorite type of Pokémon, meaning that they wore unnatural hair colors and strange outfits.
A Twitter user whose name remains a mystery realized that the people in this picture bore an odd resemblance to Pokémon’s classic gym leaders. The guy with red hair looks like a fire-type trainer, and the one with the bandana would fit the role of an electric-type trainer.
Humankind has lost the wrong Stark
As big fans of Marvel’s universe, we cried a lot when we saw Tony Stark sacrifice himself to save humanity. We’re pretty sure that we aren’t the only people touched by that particular moment, and this tweet may be proof of it.
After @oli_atkinson7448, an Instagram user, read @TomiStark’s dumb tweet about cheating, he realized that we lost the wrong Stark. Of course, we don’t wish anyone to have a death like Tony’s, but this lady should think twice before posting gibberish.
This man’s outfit makes him look like a candy corn
No Halloween season is truly over until you receive a bunch of candy corn. This small, pyramid-shaped candy is typically divided into three sections with distinct colors: yellow at the bottom, orange in the middle, and white at the tip.
Since we’ve described what candy corn is, we can all agree that this man’s outfit reminds everyone of the American staple of the Halloween season. If we were the guy in the picture, we wouldn’t be embarrassed to show the world our candy corn-inspired look.
Crayon chewer is an epic insult
The English language is plagued with hilarious insults. People get creative when angry, so they always come up with original ways to express their discontent. Nonetheless, we’ve never heard or read something as original as calling someone a “crayon chewer.”
This term is typically used as an insult while arguing with another person to let them know that they said a stupid thing. Perhaps Tumblr user bulbasaurbian didn’t deserve to be called a crayon chewer, but we can’t deny that trilllizard666 insult was well-timed.
If you insult someone’s festivities, they’ll insult yours back
Internet users are notorious for being intolerant. They often laugh at other people’s beliefs and disrespect them if given a chance. Take @GeorgeMcIntyre_’s tweet, for example. He uploaded a picture of himself cooking bacon to laugh at those celebrating Ramadan.
Another Twitter user named @NerdyRanger found the post so silly that he couldn’t keep to himself. He said that Muslims couldn’t care less about insults but that Americans go crazy if they see a cup that says “Happy Holidays” instead of “Merry Christmas.”
Some older people can’t understand technology
There’s no doubt that technological advances have changed the world we live in. Back in the day, we’d go to a grocery store and pay with cash, but today we can use our Apple Watches to buy food. Isn’t that amazing?
Well, for the new generations, it is. After all, it makes our lives easier. Still, for Baby Boomers, understanding technology is a challenge that they can’t overcome. That’s why an older man told Twitter user @SteveRyanComedy that he was a “future boy.”
Someone compared Mark Zuckerberg with a covert zombie
Most people find Mark Zuckerberg unsettling. This photo, in particular, led many Internet users to believe that Facebook’s CEO wasn’t human. Some ventured to say that he was a robot, while others claimed that he was an alien or a reptilian.
From all those strange theories, we think that the funniest one involves individuals comparing Zuckerberg with a person who was bitten by a zombie and wants to keep it a secret. We don’t know how that’s an effective insult, though.
Humans may not chase laser dots, but they do study tiny pinpoints in the sky
As humans, we always seek reasons to feel superior to other species and feed our egos. For instance, Twitter user @neiltyson argued that we’re more intelligent than cats because we don’t waste our time chasing laser dots projected on the carpet.
However, @krellend20 disagreed with him and typed the most savage comeback we’ve ever read. This person told Tyson that he wasn’t entitled to speak because he had spent all his career studying tiny pinpoints in the sky. In our opinion, they do have a point.
There’s no doubt that this mother is mad at her daughter
Contrary to what many people think, being a parent isn’t easy. Even when you try your best to make your children happy, they always have something to criticize you for. If you don’t believe us, read this Amazon customer’s review.
This woman was tired of her daughter being ungrateful, so she had to vent it on Amazon. She was so mad that she even said that it’d have been a more prudent investment to purchase birth control pills in 1997 than the dress she bought for her child in 2019.
When two names sound similar, it’s difficult not to mix them up
Isn’t it awful to call someone you love by the wrong name? While this occurrence is quite common, it doesn’t mean that it isn’t embarrassing for you and the other person. Besides, the situation can make them feel overlooked or unappreciated.
It isn’t difficult to understand why @MarcSnetiker’s friend got angry at him after he mixed up her current boyfriend’s and her ex’s names. The lady’s partner probably broke into a million pieces when he heard Marc call him like that.
Gabriel Luna doesn’t look like a killer robot
When someone utters the name “Terminator,” the first thing that comes to mind is a young Arnold Schwarzenegger saying, “Hasta La Vista, Baby.” We also remember how intimidating he looked as he portrayed a killer robot on the silver screen.
Perhaps Schwarzenegger set a high standard back in the day because no one liked Gabriel Luna’s role in Terminator: Dark Fate. YouTube user Kaliss points out that the new Terminator looks more like the manager of Home Depot than a killer robot.
Apartment complexes shouldn’t have a dog weight limit
Looking for a new apartment is a tedious task. Not only do you have to spend a lot of precious time seeking the right place to move in, but you also have to find a landlord that lets your giant dog live with you.
Sadly, many apartment complexes have a dog weight limit. If you ask us, that doesn’t make much sense. As Twitter user @RyleeMoser points out, a dog’s behavior isn’t determined by how big it is but by how its owner cares for them.
This man should go back to jail for giving that kid such an awful haircut
Going to jail for a petty crime may sound like torture at first. Still, it can also allow you to start your life over again. Take @kylegotjokes’s cousin, for example. While serving his time in prison, he got a barber license.
We aren’t sure whether he should be opening a barber shop, though. We don’t want to sound mean, but the haircut he gave to that boy is awful. No one in their right mind would like to walk down the street looking like that.
Unnatural hair colors equal to aposematism
Aposematism is a natural mechanism that lets us know that an animal is poisonous. However, this phenomenon doesn’t work with humans as it does with other creatures from nature. We’re glad that Twitter user @stringy took the time to clarify that for @AJA_Cortes.
We don’t know why this man dislikes women with unnatural hair colors, but the truth is that he got the whole concept of aposematism wrong. This natural defense mechanism is there to warn off predators, not romantic partners. So, if he gets repelled, perhaps the phenomenon is actually working.
It’s impossible not to feel sorry for this student after reading their confession
RateMyProfessors.com (RMP) is a review site that allows any college or university student to assign ratings to their professors and campuses of American, Canadian, and United Kingdom institutions. Although some reviews may be helpful, others are a bit fun to read.
In this case, Twitter user @baecerra shared a screenshot from RMP showing that a student hated one of their professors so much that they drove to school without using their seatbelt. Honestly, we’re no one to judge; we’ve also felt that we’d rather die than attend our dull university classes.
Telling someone to eat a rat poison sandwich is worse than wishing death on them
Nowadays, many people have difficulty falling and staying asleep at the end of a long day. Fortunately, there are many ways to loosen up and enjoy a good night’s rest. One of those methods is looking for videos with relaxing sounds on YouTube.
However, relaxing is impossible if the video you’re playing has ads. This Twitter user, whose name is unknown, felt so frustrated that they told the person that made the YouTube video to eat a rat poison sandwich. Isn’t that worse than wishing death on them?